Thursday, November 6, 2008

Ma's Moving Mode

I'm afflicted with a severe case of susunitis; it's a terrible ailment for which there is no known cure, unless the family can consider making some big sacrifices in their daily lives for my sake. I know they won't and I don't blame them because if I were them, I won't either!

Susunitis is an appalling disease; its victims doomed to live out their days with an acute, irritating need to arrange and rearrange household things, especially furniture.

One of the ways to curb this distressing affliction is for the victim's family to opt for a furnitureless existence, perhaps like a Bedouin in a desert tent, with carpets and rugs and throw cushions spread all over.

But if you are looking for sympathy, or for some kind of understanding, or if you as much as think they will willingly cater to your abnormal urges, perish the thought.

I can bet my bottom dollar that they couldn't care less about Arabian-style living, because they know darn too well there is no guarantee you aren't going to shift the carpets and rugs around to satisfy that bizzare craving of yours.

In reality, your spouse and kids would probably look squarely into your eyes and say; "Not on your life"! (my sentiment exactly if I were in their shoes), which of course is no help at all.

The most frequently moved pieces of furniture in my household used to be the living room sofa and the armchairs. I note with sorrow that I have not been able to shift the three-seater 'creatively' since moving into this bandanna-sized condo unit. Sigh....

In another lifetime, my ex told his mother once that each time he got home he would have to check the living room's seating arrangement first, to avoid sitting on a sofa that was no longer where it was when he left for work earlier in the day.

This comment, by the way, came about following an incident where the poor man arrived home and tossed his jacket onto the nearest sofa, only to have the jacket settling into a pile on the floor. Needless to say, the sofa had found another nook to rest.

Because the living room size doesn't meet the full cravings of a susunitis sufferer, the next target is the bedroom. The bed frame, heavy as it were sans mattress and beddings, would be dragged around and repositioned at the opposite end of the room.

Whatever other pieces of furniture in the room would then be rearranged accordingly (before the next urge to shift them all over again, in all likelihood to the very same position prior to the oh-so-satisfying move!)

Once the bedroom is taken care of, it would be time to rearrange the contents of the kitchen cabinet. The susunitis victim experiences total fulfilment in doing this, the joy doubling for two reasons;

(1) when every item is successfully transported to and rearranged inside another cabinet, and (2) when the kids reach up onto a familiar shelf to pick up something, only to find it is no longer there, and have to hunt for it all over, yanking open one door after another.

Even the pantry isn't spared. Since pantries are for storing non-perishable food, one would assume there isn't much that could be done apart from moving the containers around.

But to a susunitis sufferer, rearranging the contents of a pantry is a challenge unto itself. The possibilities are endless - one can go with type of containers (plastic, glass, tin), shape (square, round, oblong, rectangular, angular), packaging colours etc.

In the worst-case scenario, the susunitis sufferer finds simple pleasure in just being able to move bottles of ketchup and soy sauce and cans of evaporated milk from the middle to the top shelf, and shifting the position of the rice bucket from left to right.

Other peculiarities would be aligning everything that could be aligned so that they face only one direction, for example, all the remote control panels should be laid side by side on the coffee table, and pointing towards the TV.

The laptop you are working on should have a half-inch margin from the worktable's edge and should never ever 'spill' over, all house slippers should bear the proud look of soldiers in formation, all towels should hang evenly on the racks, darker colours at the back and lighter ones to the front, books should be arranged according to height...

Someone please tell me I still have it altogether...


PS:
I seem to have found a kindred spirit in Kak Teh, who is down with kemasitis, an affliction involving drapes, drawings (especially those in 'senget' frames) and drawers (no, not the ones you wriggle into to snugly cover your ample bottom, but the kind you keep your undies in). I wonder if we share another same-vintage disease - leteritis - for this usually goes hand-in-hand with two mentioned above. Hmm.......


33 comments:

Kak Teh said...

oooh, i know that affliction very well which i believe is not unlike OCS.
I cant claim to have such serious a condition but I tend to follow my sister around and push in drawers and close cupboard doors after her.

For someone suffering from susunitis, which is somewhat a more serious strain of the condition known as kemasititis, to be bedridden with slipped disc is the most frustrating thing ever. Imagine lying on the back and you cant do a thing abt the picture frame hanging at a slant, or the one missing hook from the curtain.

and you know, people who suffer from susunitis usually find their life partner who is afflicted with a condition called "why/where did you put my thingisitis?"

mekyam said...

puteri & kt,

it's known stateside as "monkitis" [ref: tony shalhoub's show].

i believe there is no known cure. ;D

Pp said...

uhuks...i suffer from the opposite. don't really know what the ailment is called, but i have strong inclination not to move myself once i am in a horizontal position. come what may, i stay horizontal. sometimes, my sisters used to describe it as 'pemalasitis' but lately my wife said it is common amongst men above a certain age, and it is called, "Oldmansititis" so not to worry. How understanding!

I do understand how u r suffering....especially with those damn heavy furniture! Install little wheelies, they sure can help mobility!

Pp

Queen Of The House said...

Kak Puteri, you're insufferable! Please come to my house and susun all you like. You might want to first consider moving my husband from his one and only "parking spot" in the living room. He sits only at that particular end of the sofa (sometimes you can find him seated there from morning to night - most times in a horizontal position like Pak Payne) that I keep telling him I won't be surprised if that spot soon has the indented pattern of his butt.

Pi Bani said...

This is serious. Isn't there any susunitologist around to help cure you? ;)

JLKM Page said...

What do you call one who wears his jean just once but hangs it up for a week? Penyeganitis??

Roti Kacang Merah said...

but how's Pak Abu like, Aunty?

is he like my husband, suffering from turnablindeyetoma, where habuk-habuk, sawang-sawang and daki-daki do not do anything to him?

by the way, i've also yours and kak teh's kemasititis. aiyohhh so cannot tahan tengok frame gambar senget, or almari bersepah, or kasut bergelimpang...geram!

wanshana said...

Kak Puteri,

Assalamua'laikum.

I've been a silent reader all this while, but, I just couldn't help smiling and connecting with you on this.

Yup - I have to admit. "My name is WanShana, and I am a susunitis sufferer"...Hehehe!

I would arrange and rearrange my furniture (especially in the living room, too!) every 3-4 weeks once. It has gotten better now - it has been reduced to once in 3-4 months now :)

It just gives me this very satisfying feeling eveytime I shift the furnitures around (even though on more than one occassion, I went back to square one).

I'm sure there are a lot more of fellow sufferers out there ;)

The Ceramic Designer said...

hehe.. i have both susunitis and kemasitis then!! and what do you call sufferers who just cannot stand the feel of habuk/pasir/slime on their tapak kakis wherever they step on..?? u guys are very creative in naming new deseases.. i think i have aplenty beside these three, haha..

really enjoyed ur post, was laughing in stitches..!!

Bijou Beads Bouquet said...

Ma, lenkali mintak org TI supply u tikar mengkuang saja, sebulan mintak dia kirim selai.. toksah dok guna heavy furniture etc.. kederat u tu nak guna lama lagi.. sat ni tegeliat tulang bunyi kruk krak jenuh.. kot ada menantu buleh la juga mintak urut ka..

mamasita said...

Puteri?I thought susunitis and kemasnitis was part of the housewife's duty?Maybe you all punya dah teruk sangat kut..but thats great!Congrats to you both!Boleh jugak jadi fengshui experts!

MrsNordin said...

Kuat nya kederat you! Removing the bed, sofa etc all at one go! Plus the kitchen and pantry... salute!

I'll do mine, project by project. It may be the shoes department one Saturday (and this can take the whole day!), and the next one could be the guest room, in another month or so. I tak larat nak berkemas the whole house sorang2!

But the satisfaction you get at the end of the day, after all is re-organised & cleaned, is priceless. And you know the leter part? It comes when other people start to mess things up again. That's why, as you said, the susunitis and leterism come together!

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Kak Teh & Roti - I have a life partner just like yours, suffering from that very same condition, shortened to "mana I punya-toma", quite similar to Roti's turnablindeyetoma"

Mekyam - I simply love that Monk series!

pp - half the fun is gone if we put little wheelies underneath the furniture. It's the unnecessary huffing and puffing that contributed to the fun..:)

QOTH - That husband of yours must be a distant relative of Pak Abu. They have the tendency to 'berlabuh' at one particular spot, and sprout roots there..LOL

Pi - I think we have to start buddies group to counsel this susunitis/kemasitis sufferers....hehehe

JLKM - only kedahans like you suffer from penyeganitis, jlkm. kelantanese like PP have pemalasitis..LOL

Wanshana - tq for dropping by wan. Bayangkan, we syok semacam heret all those furniture all over such a confined place, tup tup balik tempat asal.. why la ya?

Ceramic D - kama is always happy to welcome a new sufferer to her ever increasing band of nuts..LOL

Bijou - don't worry bijou, ma has been exercising with pa.. LOL

Mamasita - ordinary housewives berkemas dan menyusun. nutcases like us heret meja, junjung kerusi mamasita oii..

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Mrs N - tu bukan pasal nak rumah nampak tersusun. sometimes the house dah cantik n bersih, tapi tangan gatai jugak nak ubah2.

Anonymous said...

Aisey..semua dah posting..arik ni lambat...tapi sib baik lum terlepas..

Satu jer one thing for sure..

Kak Kama is not coming to my house ever..(baru nak reveal who i am hari ini)..nasib baik...

takutnya..mesti dia leterist me..(berleter terlebih)(lebih seram dari jumpa antu)..

I am the.."where is my book..do not touch them..move them or dust them..walau pun kucing berak atasnya..."

the rest..children..the house is yours...buat lah apa hang suka...

Kak Teh said...

Puteri, 'where/why di you move mythingsitis and mana I punya toma" are conditions that usually affect the vocal chord two or three pitch higher. It is also known to affect the eyebrows, which move permanently a few inches below the hairline as if the thingy in question had been the most important/sought after item, even though it had been in hiding under newspapers from the time of Margaret Thatcher.

m00n said...

i raser macam nak susun bini jer la akak ......... boleh? ... susunolgi jugak kan !!

MrsNordin said...

Ohh... that I don't do. Coz I know, pusing punya pusing, last2 akan balik ke tempat yang sama! Hee.. hee...

Kak Teh said...

puteri, I was born with leteritis, and sadly no cure has been found. It goes into phases and modes, sometimes not unlike an old broken record, so, I have been told.

Children are known to make a fast exit and have perfected a disappearing act when they see the symtoms. I think we should call on Pi Bani and set up a leteritis Anonymous.

ArahMan7 said...

Td baru baca komen si-mOOn pasal Midnight Visitor tu. Terkekeh2 ArahMan7 gelak. Betul ke dia tu jantan? Iya2 beno dia bercite, kihkihkih!

Taknak byk cite takut terkena leteritis, hehehe!

Kama At-Tarawis said...

arahman - si Moon ni is one of my dearest friends whom pak abu and i met dlm chatroom before we got married lagi. dia dah macam adik sendiri. dia suka mengomel. he is such a prankster. kalau kami chatters ada gathering, si tee-moon ni ler livewire nya.. masa pak abu and I buat wedding reception dulu, tee-moon ni kena stripped to his underwear by a felow chatter (pompuan) on a dare.. padan muka..LOL ... siut kamu tee-moon..

Kama At-Tarawis said...

moon - kamu jangan menggatal nak susun bini - nanti akak cage susun muka kamu baru tau..LOL

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Kak Teh - pi mai pi mai Pi Bani jadi mangsa..kesian dia..:)

Bijou Beads Bouquet said...

cute pulak u call me bijou ma.. terasa mcm kat perancis.. lol

mOOn.. susun bini?? tegolek i tegelak.. lepas tu jenuh nyusun anak la pulak..

errmmm i prefer to susun my biji beads and sometimes susun duit. hehehe :-)

Pi Bani said...

Laa hai... patutlah dok tersedak je hari ni... ada orang mengatatis I rupanya!!

Sah le Kak Puteri and Kak Teh ni perlu bantuan susunitologist and leterologist!

Pak Idrus said...

Kama, get rid of all the carpets, carpet breed million of dust mites, the main culprit of sinusitis. I have done that and use laminated wood floor. It do cure and now I live a healthy life. BTW my son in law is an ENT specialist. It is on his advice that we throw all the carpets.

Have a nice day.

Anonymous said...

Komen Pak Malim, kucing ray yg alim.

Saya tak duduk atas kerusi, kata Pak Malim yg sakit gusi. Jadi boleh susun saya di mana-mana kata kucing ray yg merana.

m00n said...

ekcerli kan pipels (got s kah).. yuols dah salah faham tentang maksud sebenar susunitis nih ... i dontingk youls really get intu it... i mean de' maksud yang tersirat dari yang terselak ... since i am a veri de' ENGLISH literated guy (man kalu kinda old .. tho i am old).. mai peraimeri sekul? ... well i love this country so much .. so i setadi inbound oni (tanak mengaku semekin sajer la nak berlagak kan :))... i was offered to study ober the sea but i rejected it (kahkahkahkah konon! MCE pun failed)... well bek to the riyel meaning of susunitis... ekcerli it is pronounce "susu, ni, tilts" ... dont beliff me? ... ask abang ... he knows her veri de' well!! ... 0p0c0t!!

Typhoon Sue said...

my sofa is full of cat hair, my books are all over the floor, my clothes need ironing, my kitchen needs scrubbing and my cats need a bath.

as someone who has long been inflicted with lazyfatassitis, i would welcome any susunitis and kemasitis sufferer into my home...
:-)

Salt N Turmeric said...

Parah penyakit susunitis ni. I think id find myself crying everyday if i live w susunitis. Imagine tengah nak masak tak jumpa garam kunyit bagai. tak ke haru tu? :P

But i do have lipatoma syndrom whc i didn realise until i was in final yr in itm. 1 day my friend told me tht she cant watch me folding the clothes anymore because dia jadi 'khayal' tengok i fold, unfold and refold to make them all in 1 size. I didnt even realised tht i was doing it. hehe.

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Farina - wow! a new affliction called lipatoma! hahahaha...

pak idrus - sound advice tu, carpetless living. maybe i really should consider it. tapi mana nak pi letak carpets yg oh sungguh indah rupawan ni? LOL

sue - i'll do it for a song, literally..:)

Kak Teh said...

puteri and farina, i nampak tadi farina's comment on lipatoma - tergerak juga hati nak tulis yang i pun ada penyakit yang seakannya - nseterikatoma - tapi nanti orang ingat i ni
hypocondriac pula -
tapi i suka seterikatomise everything!

ni lah kerjanya baru balik makan and terlalu kenyang untuk tidork.

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Kak Teh - i dont like to sterika anything. panaih! but lipat i dont mind but not to the extent of Farina's 'devotion', sampai kena lipat to the exact same size..susah tu..