Ozlin & Amirah

Amirah Anuar (pix above)

OZLIN

1) Ozlin, a loving wife and devoted mother to two small children, turned 35 this year. Young and beautiful, this soft-spoken, graceful woman had a whole life ahead of her.

Tapi kita hanya merancang; Tuhan juga yang menentukan (we can only plan, for our fate is in the hands of God). Who would have thought her journey of life would end so abruptly, depriving two little kids of their doting mother, and their daddy a loving spouse.

A colleague of my son Joe, Ozlin succumbed to leukaemia yesterday morning. She was buried in Kuala Lumpur on the same day, after Zohor prayers. Ozlin was diagnosed with terminal-stage leukaemia only two months ago.

Pak Abu and I were on our way to Temerloh, Pahang, to attend the wedding of a niece when Joe called just before noon to inform us of the sad news.

We knew Ozlin because she had joined us on a couple of occasions at the KLGCC (Kuala Lumpur Golf and Country Club) for karaoke, together with Joe and a few of their co-workers from the advertising agency.

She quit the agency late last year to join her husband who was based in Singapore. Because of that, we didn't get to meet her before we left for the Hajj in November last year. But she did send us a message of good wishes through Facebook.

We shall miss you dear Ozlin. Semoga Allah swt mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohmu dan menempatkannya di kalangan roh-roh mereka yang beriman.

May you rest in peace and may Allah swt bless your soul and place it amongst the pious and the blessed. Al-Fatihah.

AMIRAH

2) Amirah Anuar is a lovely young lady of 24. A smart girl, she completed college with a Second Class Upper in Finance just a couple of months ago, and harbours thoughts of doing her masters degree in the United Kingdom, just like her dad.

Four years ago, at the age of 20, Amirah lost her right leg to cancer. Ever an optimist, this plucky niece of mine, whose mother is my younger sister Ana, takes everything in her stride.

She faces challenges head-on. She makes light of her status as an OKU (physically-handicapped person), preferring instead to concentrate on other worthwhile issues like her studies and her family. Her sunny disposition had, in the past, helped us through during her hours of anguish.

One morning two weeks ago my sister Izah called with the devastating news that after four relatively quiet years, Amirah's dreaded cancer had returned with a vengeance, this time lodging itself in her lungs. All I could do was cry by the phone.

Three new lesions were detected, two in one lung and one in the other. Doctors at Kuala Lumpur Hospital, where she was admitted, had determined that the cancer was at stage four and immediate surgery was recommended.

Due to the location of the lesions, she was referred to Institut Jantung Negara (National Heart Institute) for the operation.

Pak Abu and I went to IJN to visit her last Tuesday, a day before the operation. She was understandably nervous and very subdued.

She confided that she was afraid of what lie ahead, and that she didn't relish the idea of undergoing chemoteraphy all over again.

While the four-hour surgery went well, doctors were unable to remove one of the lesions due to its close proximity to the heart. Thus she would have to avail herself to full chemo soon.

Amirah is pragmatic about her chances; medically-speaking, her life expectancy is three years. She is aware of this and has accepted it, as we have, painful and heart-breaking as it may be.

Redha is the word. At our end, we have tried and will continue to try to help Amirah overcome this scourge any which ikhtiar we could. In the final analysis, Allah swt knows what's best, so in Him we put our absolute trust.

We love you Amirah!

Crappy Crappy!

1) NOW I have a bone to pick with the restaurant that gave my family and I such a lousy service the other day. This is one fight I did not pick; it was shoved under my nose.

As you know, I don't suffer fools gladly; so Anon, thanks for the opportunity to pull you folks down a notch or two from your perch. All I can say is that you have brought this unto yourself.

Always remember, in the restaurant business, you are as good as your food AND your service. Good food count for nuts if your service isn't up to par.

Staff who pull a long muncung (snout) at customers are absolute no-nos. We don't pay good money to be served by an irritable pout (we can get that at home for free).

I don't know who this Anon responding sourly to my negative comments is, but my best bet is that Anon is someone associated either with the shop (owner/friend/staff/whoever) or with the food critic site (which did an excellent write-up of the place, by the way). Anon sounds like a her; not that I care for the gender.

Instead of picking a fight with me, they should concentrate their efforts in improving their service. Unfortunately, they lacked the grace to admit their service wasn't so chummy.

Wake up lah, please. I am not your competitor; I don't own a makan joint neither do I know anyone who does. I'm just someone who, once upon a time, had wanted to become your regular patron/customer and spread the word around that you had a good thing going. It was you who deprived me of the privilege.

The one thing that I can be certain of is this; d'Cengkih of Taman Tun Dr Ismail has earned a black mark in my list of restaurants of disrepute and I shall avoid it at all cost, no matter how good they proclaim their menu to be.

You may ask why am I so harsh in my judgement. I have a ready answer for this. It is neatly packaged under the words "Attitude" and "Humility".

A restaurant that simply cannot bear criticisms (even if they are true) and comes out with guns blazing at anyone criticising it (even if the criticisms are constructive), is not worth the hassle. This is one restaurant with a massive attitude problem.

Worse, they lack the humility to admit their own shortcomings. Instead they keep hitting back at the critique (and that's me). Let it be known that my family wasn't the only dissatisfied patrons the other day. A few others also walked out.

I have nothing to fear as I spoke the truth and as can be seen, truth hurts. I had the grace of not naming the shop in my article then. Now I'm throwing caution to the winds; I don't really care anymore.

Neither do I care if their spread is the best in this whole wide world (anyway, I can't vouch for it for I didn't get my order), because their attitude still stinks.

You would have earned merit points in my book had you responded with: "Yes we were shorthanded the other day, but we shall buck up. We are sorry to have let you and your family down, but we welcome you to visit us again."

And you know what? I would have given the restaurant both a second chance and a second mention, which may even be highly favourable to you. It's a bit too late now.

2) Years ago, there was a Chinese-Muslim lady selling one of the best chicken rice (if not the best) I had ever tasted in Subang Jaya. In fact, if you mentioned Subang Jaya and Nasi Ayam in the same breath, it was her name that came to mind. Unfortunately enough, whilst her chicken rice was superb, her mouth wasn't. You winced at her choice of words for her workers.

Her off-putting, public maki hamun and carut marut for her hapless staff were so commonplace and well-known to Subang Jaya residents that many patrons simply stopped going, my family included. We would rather buy 'run-of-the-mill' chicken rice from other traders, who treated their workers with dignity.

I heard she has since passed away. May Allah swt be kind to her soul.

Let's Play

Konda kondi (flip), getah (rubber band), teng-teng (hopscotch), bottle-cap shooting, batu seremban, congkak (pix left); these are but some of the many traditional games I grew up with, back in the boondocks called Bukit Besi in (then) backwaters Terengganu.

Nothing beats being out in the garden or on the pangkin* in the front yard with family and friends, all high-spirited and determined to outdo each other for the glory of gloating. (Pangkin = a raised wooden platform usually placed in front of the house, for the purpose of resting one's weary feet).

Rainy days, however, would be a real damper, for it would keep us confined indoors, thus limiting our play options; never mind the fact that sometimes we blatantly ignored parental orders to happily drench ourselves in Bukit Besi's notorious downpour, the kind that could swell the hill station's placid river fivefold in mere minutes.

Today, technology is able to keep children occupied even when it's all wet and gloomy outside. Yet, I still feel sorry for them, for these kids are deprived of the thrill of playing ingenious games under the hot sun, games that do not require anything more than flipping and balancing tiny bags of seeds, or skipping on a 'rope' made of entwined rubber bands.

These days, 'fun' comes in the form of a hand-held contraption with a screen and tiny buttons on it (what's it called, PSP?), or the "mother of all funs", PlayStation. Of course, not all kids are blessed with such luxuries. Having said that, there is one luxury which has since become a basic household necessity and is currently available to 16 million of us in Malaysia - the Internet.

Now folks, check this out; yesterday I Googled "online games" and the result shook my knees. There are 264 million related searches! This is downright scary!

Let's do some maths here. Even if as little as 1% of the results are links to game sites, that's 2.6 million game sites on the Internet! If a child spends his life visiting just one site per day, he would have reached out to only 29,200 sites by the time he returns to his childhood once again at the ripe old age of 80!

I asked my own kids, nieces and nephews which sites they frequent. Names that popped up with clockword regularity were Miniclip.com, Onlinegames.net, and Dailygames.com. In fact, they know these web addresses like the back of their hands!

Out of curiosity, I paid a visit to Miniclip.com just to see what the fuss was all about. Goodness gracious... there were so many games to choose from! Bearing in mind this old lady isn't exactly a fan, I did try my hand at a couple of games, and before I knew it, two hours had passed.

Frankly, it was so easy to get hooked. In fact I was thinking I could get used to this...... it was kind of fun. All I need now is a grandchild to play these games with!

I may not be so enamoured with online games but I must admit there are many positive aspects in favour of this digital phenomenon, one of which is physical safety. The world outside is becoming more dangerous to children - rising crime rates et al - that even letting the kids out to a playground hardly 500 feet away from one's doorsteps seem unwise.

I am all for keeping them indoors under proper supervision if their safety out in the big bad world cannot be assured. Playing online games is a small price to pay for their physical safety and their parents' mental well-being.

Secondly, letting kids loose outside is exposing them to undue influence, more often of the undesirable kind. To my eternal regret, one of my sons, now 32, picked up smoking at 15, the price of too much lepak freedom. Lepaking exposed him to peer pressure and without Mom within sight or sound to counter temptations, the inevitable happened.

In today's scheme of things, it's convenience over nostalgia when it comes to certain aspects of parenting. From a nostalgic prospective, I was fortunate enough to have had my children at a time when the Internet was not available commercially.

Hence they too had had the opportunity of experiencing the sheer joy of playing in the sun as much as I did, albeit in a concrete jungle as opposed to my kampung childhood.

One thing I didn't do enough, however, was to spend time with them in playing these games. I was too busy eking out a living and managing the household. Of couse, with the benefit of hindsight, I should have made time for them. After all, memories are made of such moments.

Wouldn't it be great if there was a specific website that facilitates playtime between parent and child? I may never have the opportunity to relate to this oncept nor apply it to bond with my own kids since they are already in their 20 and 30s (although I do play online Scrabble with one son and beat him most times!).

I am calling upon all young moms out there to try this 'new age' bonding; play games with your young ones when time permits. If it's online games they fancy, pick it up and join in; who knows you may just find genuine enjoyment in the games even more than they do!

And while you are at it, teach them a thing or two about the traditional games that you know. Let the child long buried in you emerge again and indulge in playing with the pure joy of carefree yesteryears. How's that for a plan?

I'm all for family bonding and instilling moments of togetherness between parents and their children by whatever means necessary. The keyword here is 'togetherness', so it doesn't really matter whether you are indulging in online games or on-ground fun, as long as both parties derive pleasure from them.

In the meantime, my son had just slapped me with a triple-word-score in Facebook's Lexulous. The nerve he has...! Please excuse me for I have to go now, to show him never to trifle with Da Boss....

Lethal Embrace & Lunchtime Special

Folks, I honestly don't know whether to laugh or to cry after reading about a 78 year-old man who died (in ecstasy, I presume) while indulging in foreplay with a 31 year-old transvestite, in Kuantan a few days ago.

This bit of news, widely reported in the local media, reminded me of another similarly disconcerting report a few years ago where a man and his mistress, deep in the throes of sex, died when tsunami hit them.

It happened in Acheh; the man was a local bigwig and businessman (a Haji too it was reported) while the woman was a divorcee.

A true case of coitus interruptus this, with disastrous result unfortunately, for not only did they drown in passion but in the onrushing waters as well.

Their bodies, found locked together 'down there' by rescue workers, could not be parted despite several attempts and had to be carted off in that undignified position to the mortuary. [What a sorry spectacle it must have been...].

I am highlighting these two stories not to embarrass anyone, or to make light of these events, but as a reminder of God's absolute will.

I think we need to be constantly reminded of the need to stay true i.e. on the right path, because the Devil will never slacken his efforts to lead us astray, Pak Haji/Mak Haji notwithstanding.

Human beings are so weak, and so easily influenced and induced. For men, the temptation of all things sexual is the hardest to deal with. Not many men can overcome sexual seduction with ease; that's where Satan is at his creative best and man at his defensive worst.

For the 78 year-old Malay man who perished "dalam dakapan mak nyah' in Kuantan three days ago, I feel for his family. Imagine their discomfort and embarrassment, having to face kith and kin, and society at large.

He is dead and gone now; he has to deal with it wherever he is, may Allah swt have mercy on him. But what in heaven's name was he thinking, frolicking, at 78, with a bapok? Words fail me completely.

Just yesterday Pak Abu and I gloomily mulled over the social ills plaguing our society today, especially the influx of prostitutes and hookers of every colour and creed, who seem to think Malaysia is their proverbial Land of Milk and Honey.

I am inclined to think they are the Honeys doing the milking and for a few hard-earned bucks, the men gladly allow themselves to be milked (in more ways than one).

I had recently read about the reported abundance of whorehouses, including a new phenomenon called "rumah syahwat" (literally, House of Lust), now sprouting like taugeh in Kuala Lumpur.

These 'rumahs' operate only at lunchtime and cater to a select clientele. Membership is by word-of-mouth; you need to be referred by a regular. And there is only one dish on the menu - sex.

Servings come in the form of scantily-dressed young women, bearing condoms. A poke, lasting a few brief minutes, costs in the region of RM120 - RM150, so I read.

Apparently, these sessions are not even conducted in private, away from prying eyes. In Rumah Syahwat, the 'all in the family' atmosphere prevails; sofas are strategically placed in darkened corners in a big room.

Just pick a girl and a spot, drop your pants and get going. When "lunch" is over, the patrons presumably wash their "hands", belt up and adjourn to a nearby mamak for teh tarik.

These 'rumah syahwat' will make it even easier for an erring husband to cheat on his wife. No need to be creative with excuses about going out at night anymore.

Just skip the real lunch and go for this 'makanan segera' instead; our local version of fast food, no less ...... Malaysia Boleh!

Lupa

I knew it had to happen sooner or later; I just didn't anticipate it happening sooner than expected. Had it happened to the 'old' me, that is to say the kepala angin (temperamental) 'me' of 20 years ago, Pak Abu would probably have to endure biting morsels for the next 12 months.

But two decades on and I am one surprisingly mellowed 'auntie' on the treshhold of her 55th birthday, who has come to terms with her greying hair and her compact middle, and who no longer worries about missing birthdays and anniversaries. At this age, if one MUST worry, it should be about missing teeth!

June 23 has always been an important date in our personal calendar, it being our wedding anniversary. So you can judge the state of our marriage from what had happened this year - we both forgot! This year, Tuesday June 23rd sailed past without as much as a squeak.

Pak Abu only realised it the day after. As for me, I well and truly forgot until he mentioned it during lunch the following day. That too after wildly guessing why we were where we were. So much for romance!

That Wednesday, Pak Abu came home around noon and asked me to get ready for lunch. Nothing unusual in that; he always came home lunchtime and we would go makan at any of the shops around Taman Tun.

I put on a nondescript, everyday blouse, clipped a plain tudung on my head and off we went.. presumably to 'Restoran Puteri' or 'Salero Nogori' or 'Penang Village' just round the corner. Instead he drove to Medan Damansara and parked in front of my favourite Italian restaurant, La Risata.

La Risata? At noon? That's waayyy too much, I thought. Without a doubt, La Risata serves good fare; its seafood soup is a must every time. We usually have Italian food for dinner, after which I would end up like a beached whale.

It was while waiting for the food to arrive that Pak Abu stated the obvious. I couldn't help but laugh (it was a nervous titter, actually) at my creeping nyanyokness. Pak Abu said he remembered the anniversary the day before and had planned to get a card and stuffs.

Naturally he forgot on the day itself, and recalled it again the day after, by which time the card (and whatever that was to come with it) was history.

We laughed as we reminisced the first anniversary; how he went the distance - an expensive dinner for two, flowers, presents, a bottle of wine too - and a spot of music, in a hotel somewhere.

Anyway, it was a good noon outing. Happy anniversary Pak Abu and please don't lupa next year, ok? And I will try not to forget as well....

PS: Confucius says "Prolonged forgetfulness of one's wedding anniversary can cause cold spots in the house due to the presence of a restless brooding entity called wife."

Aaah, such wise words from good old Confucius (I think he must have forgotten an anniversary or two himself to have come up with this gem.. hehehe....)

Oopsie Boobsie

It's been a while since I had my boobsies squeezed, squashed and kneaded by 'foreign' hands (perish the dirty thoughts, it was my first mammograph!), but it happened again Saturday last, in the name of health and well-being.

Every woman should, at all times, keep abreast with this rather weighty issue, or to be more precise, two prominent points in the life of every woman. Pun aside, breast cancer is definitely not something to trifle with. Never for a second assume that you are safe from this scourge.

Breast cancer is the most common cancer among Malaysian women from all ethnicities and it is also the most common cause of cancer death among women in Malaysia. The disease accounts for 30.4 percent of newly-diagnosed cancer cases in Malaysian women. [Read here for more details].

I had my first brush with this bane years ago. In 1974 when breast cancer awareness was still in its infancy, I did a self-examination upon the advice of a colleague, and found a lumpy mass in my left breast. It was a terrifying week, one filled with uncertainties. Surgery followed; thankfully the mass proved benign.

I could understand my own fear. We have a chequered family history, cancerwise. Two generations of women paid the ultimate price; Opah (grandma) died of cervical cancer; Wan Su (an aunt), of brain tumour; Mak (mom) had her cancer-ridden ovary removed (she eventually died of kidney failure).

Ten years ago I had both a mammograph (breast cancer screening) and a pap smear (screening for cervical cancer) done. Over the years, I had been meaning to have another go but there were too much dilly-dallying in between. Even getting to know blogger Dalilah and her fight against breast cancer had not heightened the pressure.

But a recent blast from the past had prompted me to take action. An e-mail from one Noriah Omar reached me last week. She introduced herself as my junior in Sekolah Tun Fatimah (STF), in the same batch as my sister Zahana (Class of '74).

Noriah, who owns the Rajawali Travel & Tours travel agency in Taman Tun Dr Ismail, was taking the lead in organising a screening session (at a nominal fee to the operator) for her old STF gang at her premises. Knowing that I live in Taman Tun, she had extended an invitation for me to participate.

It was good to meet up with some of those 'kids' again. They were only 15 when I saw them last! I felt embarrassed that I could not identify any of them save for one or two. Sorry sweeties!

I could only recognise Noraini Bahari (apart from a couple of dress-size bigger, she looked just the same) whose sister Normah (one year my senior in STF) was my brother's gal for a while.

Unlike the old days when mammograph was done by literally compressing one's boobs between two cold steel plates, this new method uses a convenient hand-held detection device (pix above) that is gently pressed onto the breast to be examined. Best of all, it is absolutely pain-free.

This device, consisting of a compact array of 256 electrodes, is connected to a medical-grade PC port during the procedure and data is constructed by proprietary software onto direct-to-digital tomography conductivity images of the breast.

It is radiation-free and has high accuracy rate. And because it is portable and mobile, the operator is willing to set up screening sessions provided one can gather a minimum of 30 persons at any one time. Any less than 30 and the exercise will not be economically viable to the operator.

Those of you who are keen to organise a screening session, at your office or home or any suitable venue, with your colleagues, women's groups, old girls (ex-classmates), or any particular group at all, please give Fazilah Othman of Mobecomm a tinkle at 012-3045148. Mobecomm is Canadian-based; their local representative is an authorised partner of HeiTech Padu Bhd. Don't forget to surf their website at http://www.stayhealthy2u.com/.

For some peace of mind, do it. Early detection saves lives. I am happy to report that I am a-okay for now, thank be to God. Syukur Alhamdulillah!

Yang Di Tunggu Tak Tiba

How long is considered a decent wait in a restaurant for your food to arrive following your order? Fifteen minutes? Twenty minutes? Half an hour? Maybe the answer lies in the type of food one asks for and the number of patrons at the time of the order.

I guess if you request for meat dishes like steaks and cuts, you may have a slightly longer wait compared to an a la carte order of local dishes like asam laksa which doesn't require cooking per se, or fried koayteow which doesn't need baking or grilling.

But what if one orders rice and all its accompaniments (lauk)? I do know that certain lauks are pre-cooked or pre-prepared; all the kitchen has to do is heat them up.

So I reckon if we order plain white rice with four types of lauk, for example sambal tumis udang with petai, kerabu sotong, daging masak merah and somtam (kerabu betik), the food should arrive within 20 minutes.

Two days ago the family decided to try out this new restaurant in Taman Tun Dr Ismail, located alongside Domino's Pizza. It will not be fair for me to name the restaurant; suffice to say we are not likely to step foot inside it again.

The place which opened its doors some months back serves Thai food. Seems to me like everyone is on the 'tomyam' gravy train these days, with Thai restaurants sprouting like mushrooms after the rains.

Anyway, one look at the menu of this restaurant, and you can see it's a wee bit on the high side. Then again, if the food is good and the service commendable, price usually ceases to be an issue. The most important thing is you get your money's worth, and that you are satisfied.

Unfortunately enough (for both the Abus and the shop), we got neither, simply because we didn't even get the food in the first place! However, we did learn, to our detriment of course, that the service was one massive thumb down and the operator's attitude stank to high heaven.

If I were to put my 'not-so-disciplined' mouth into good use that day, I would have suggested the management place a more pleasant face behind the counter for starters, since the face also doubled up as one of those who took down orders.

It is not enough to have a pretty face and a willowy body (clad in tight t-shirt and equally tight jeans) pacing the restaurant floor with a most unpleasant scrunched up look and a petulant pout brimming with "I'm busy, so screw you!" attitude.

I would also recommend the pot-bellied, middle-aged Malay guy (who was either the owner/ operator/ manager) exercise a bit of PR when one's orders ran late, by coming over to one's table to apologise for the delay, instead of casting guilty glances at the fidgeting customers and scurrying back and forth to the kitchen with a constipated look on his face.

It was noontime on a working day, so naturally there were quite a number of office workers among the patrons when we walked in at one o'clock. It took ten minutes and a couple of vigorous hand waves for the staff to notice us, and one finally scurried over to take our order.

Thirty minutes later, we were still waiting. I was being kind, honestly. I gave them a lot of leeway considering the place was packed. At 1.50 pm my patience wore out, especially after I noticed those arriving much later than us being served their respective orders.

Then it dawned on me that those patrons had ordered a la carte dishes i.e. fried rice, fried noodles and the like, as opposed to ours, a complete set of nasi and lauk. The kitchen had been clearing those single-dish orders first, apparently.

I beckoned Miss Willowy and asked about our order. Without a word she stomped off to the kitchen, presumably to check. And then she walked out again and instead of coming to our table to inform us of the status, she went to hide behind the counter. As for the pot-bellied fellow, he slunked back and wasn't seen again.

I stood up, walked to the counter and asked in an annoyed voice: "Mana order kami? Dah buat ker belum? Kalau belum buat tak payahlah. Dah sejam lebih!"

She shot back: "Ha, tak payah pun takpalah!" It was 2.05 pm. We had been there for one hour and five minutes, waiting for food that never came. So we left and went to KFC instead.....


PS: Patrons from two other tables also left, just before us, when their respective orders too did not materialise.