Sunday, August 17, 2008

Golf Bribes

If you check out my kitchen cabinet, there is one cupboard full of mismatched crystalware. There are fruit bowls and wine glasses, plates and dishes, condiment sets and vases, and the odd ornamental piece that serves no particular purpose.

They come in all shapes, sizes and hues. Beautifully cut, some with fine etchings, they are undoubtedly very attractive to look at and they didn't cost me a single sen. The only thing is, I don't really know what to do with them.

I am in a quandary, really. They are too nice to be hidden away in a kitchen almari (cupboard), but too fragile to be put to good use. And I am averse to putting up my tableware for public display. Seganlah..

It's golf that brought them all into my possession. Those items represent some of Pak Abu's golf winnings over the years. Of course he has brought home other items as well - TV sets, computers, an assortment of electrical appliances - but the crystalware has its own story to tell.

Those crystal pieces are actually bribes. You see, these diehard golfers are not beyond bribing their wives to ensure their golfing go unhindered. I think they have a secret pact among themselves; it goes "Let's buy what the wives want as our tournament prizes, then our daily diet of golf is assured."

The only problem is, what we wives want are not crystal pieces. Give us vouchers to Habib Jewels or Diamond & Platinum, for example, and you guys can sleep overnight on the green to catch the first tee the following morning. We'll even help pitch your tent for you. Honest.

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