Saturday, October 2, 2010

All because of a Pecker...

If you are somebody's mistress - I don't care how you get to be there in the first place and sure as hell I don't want to know - do heed some advice. [Itu otak kasi pakai sometimes, ok..]

Stay away..... far, far away in fact, from your married lover's matrimonial abode. You have a death wish or something, strumpet? Or could it be a swollen ego?

I am not giving your shenanigans with a married man a stamp of approval (and that goes to you too, Mr Married Man With A Wandering Prick!) So don't you both act smug with moi.

All I'm saying is... you may be a mistress whose function is pretty well-defined, but do use your grey matter too occasionally [Minda kasi buka juga, jangan lain-lain saja buka..]

Don't be such a knucklehead like this ichibawa, as highlighted in vernacular daily Sin Chew Jit Poh and quoted by The Star yesterday.

The dailies reported that a woman was injured after getting into a catfight with her husband's mistress in Kuala Lumpur.

According to the daily, the 28 year-old woman had caught the mistress, 34, in the master bedroom of her home.

Her husband was not home during the 5pm incident on Monday. [What was the trollop thinking, venturing into the lion's lair?]

When she confronted the mistress, the other woman claimed that she was just her husband's close relative. [Aaah, ahhhh.. bau-bau bacang or bau-bau p*p*t?]

However., all hell broke loose when the woman spotted the mistress' undergarments inside the room. [Whoa! Bikin projek dalam bilik tidur dan atas katil tuan rumah ka?]

During the fight, both women pulled at each other's hair before the mistress managed to stab the woman's hand with a pair of scissors. [See how it goes? It always starts with tarik-tarik rambut...]

The mistress then fled, leaving behind the woman (duhh.. apa punya reporting nih, surely you don't expect the mistress to angkut the wife sekali kot] who sustained injuries and bruises.

But her ordeal was far from over when her husband later called up and threatened to kill her.

She subsequently lodged a report with the police, who detained both the husband and the mistress to facilitate investigations.

Kama says:Well, nothing much to add to this sordid affair, really. But I can see another marriage going down the drain. The wife is not likely to forgive the rat for taking his harlot's side.

Dunia, dunia... all because of a pecker...


Cat-in-Sydney said...

Aunty Puteri,
Real life story more fun than TV soap opera! If the woman had any brain, she wouldn't have agreed to become anyone's mistress in the first place. ROTFLOL!!! Adoi...nak pecah perut kucing-kucing ketawa ni. purrr....meow!

Anonymous said...

I read in another reporting pulak, the wife actually balik kampung for Hari Raya and after 2 weeks came back home to KL without informing the husband. Perhaps during the absence tu lah the mistress bukan main galak lagi took over!


Kama At-Tarawis said...

Cat -:-)

MA - tu Tuhan nak tunjuk tuh..

Anonymous said...

Husband tu bukan apa Kak. Suka pergi holiday. So tempahlah jugak holiday in hell masa dah mati nanti. Lagi lama duduk hell lagi bagus. Holiday kan syok. Tak kan hidup jer nak holiday.

The mistress tu must be special gila. Sanggup jantan tu duduk neraka kena bakar sebab dia. Atau pun jantan tu yang bangang gila. Ada ke pilih neraka bila boleh dapat syurga? Do the same thing with your wifelah... Di dunia pun syok. Di akhirat pun syok kira pahala yg bertimbun.

Tu lah. Allah bagi otak yg atas buat apa ikut yg bawah. Lu memang bangangggg....


Tommy Yewfigure said...

oh my, oh my Puteri, LOL not on the said incident but those little gems u wrote in brackets; I like the way u think & those little voices in your head...hahaha. Look like u had put the wood on the pecker :)

Naz said...

Salam Kak Puteri,
...very entertaining read...the post (outside and inside brackets!) and the comments.
ROFL pagi pagi buta ni!

MAHAGURU58 said...

Assalamualaikum everyone.

Adultery is no laughing matter. Its one of the worst crimes anyone can commit and sheer stupidity on the perpetrator's part if he or she thinks they can get away with such a monstrous sin. The punishment for adultery in Islam and Christianity is stoning to death! Fornicators always demand to be left alone asking others to mind their own business.

Problem is that ' All because of a pecker' as Hjh Puteri puts it aptly, that wayward pecker causes social problems from his adultery to spillover into the society's moral breakdown.

If only that pecker gets the Sharia smacker then...only then would other peckers hold in their 'checker'. :P

Love reading your (in bracket contents) Hjh Puteri. :)

pakmat said...

Dear Lady is not in the nature of mistresses to stay away from their lover's matrimonial it is not in their nature to listen to advice..that's why they got be mistresses in the first place..and peckers are known for not having brains..there is no grey matter there..just some sticky white matter, which clouds the brain..a pecker driven man does not think beyond the next ejaculation..what I used to be, I guess..:) cheers..

D said...

I like reading what you write when you're fuming mad! LOL!!

what can I say?? Macam-macam ada...

mekyam said...

i agree with tuan MAHAGURU58 that adultery is no laughing matter, but i too cannot help going 'rofl' at puteri's hilarious asides! :D

mari dengar saya pantun...

there once was a daring mistress
who braved her lover's address
the wife came back
gave the bitch a whack
that's how both ended up a mess!

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Jue - unfortunately, the forbidden fruit is always desired. yang halal tu dah lose its shine.. tu la dunia..

Tommy & Naz - just to lighten up one's mood, that's all.. :)

Mahaguru - Indeed.. tapi nak tergelak pun ada, kan.. thus the unbecoming asides.. hehehe..

Pakmat - I hv always liked your affirmative comments, pakmat.. nakal sungguh you ni once upon a time, hehh..

D - I tend to be voluble bila hangat

Mekyam - lovely verses.. hehehe..

Cik Puan Kamil said...

Geramnya I baca Aunty !! Meh I tarik rambut laki tu pulak !

Wan Sharif said...

sepatut nya aqal menundukkan nafsu setelah melalui latihan ramadhan selama sebulan..
Setelah ramadhan nampaknya keadaan kembali normal.. nafsu menguasai aqal.
Semuga kita tak termasuk dalam golongan kedua..

Anonymous said...

lawak ni satu pun tak leh nak heran..

ni lah yang di katakan news..mistress masuk rumah isteri kalau isteri masuk rumah mistress tak lah news kan...ha ha ha..

Yes, adultery is no laughing matter, take care of our daughters...

Mama Huptihup said...

kurang asam kan pompuan tu....patut cakar2 ja muka dia, kasi cacat, padan muka...

Norin said...

Hi hi..
Selamat Hari Raya!!
Geram kan when u hear stories like that.
Happen to a close friend's sister just recently.. tapi yg found out was the sister n me coz she was in Sabah working and was so worried when the husband cant be contacted so off we go to the house at 8am only to find the husband was sleeping soundly with another woman in their bedroom.. and so clever of him he send all the kids to the parents house. he actually planned for the children to missed school! the end peremppuan to kena lempang from my friend and she scream ABANGGGGGG!!!! i burst out laughing... now i know whats potrayed in all the drama minggu ini actually happen. n my friend actually spit at his face... so berani la my friend.

norin f

Kama At-Tarawis said...

myra - tarik rambut that fellow tak jalanlah myra, rambut jantan kan

wan - tu la dia. tapi for some people, nafsu susah sungguh nak kawal. kita ambik iktibar ajalah..

anon - i agree wholeheartedly. daughters are harder to kawal than sons.. selagi they are not married off, risau sentiasa.. for some, dah dikawinkan, ini pulak jadinya.. mintak Tuhan selisih perkara2 yg tak elok..

mama H - waaa, garang jugak anak mama yg kecik molek ni

norin - wow, seronok kama baca al-kisah sidia kena pelempang nih..hehehe.. Allah tu Maha Kaya, kalau Dia nak tunjuk, terburai jugak semuanya..

Bergen said...

Ma'am, Imam Ghazali says;

When that thing is half erected, half of the brain goes blank.

I say; when it is fully erected, there's no brain left.

Miz Lavender said...


Good one. I wish all men are like you.
Hi Putri. I missed Kak Mamasita so much.
How is she? Can you please tell her that many, many of my friends too missed her.
Our regards to her.
Please tell her to write. It is a good theraphy.

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Berg - I like that quotation!

Miz Lav - Mamasita is a-okay, Lav. She's keeping a low profile blogwise for now, but is active in FB.

Anonymous said...

Perempuan baik-baik tak kacau suami org. Yg jahat seangkatan Abu Lahab saja yg perangai macam tu. Patut tampal aje muka-muka perempuan cam gini di Harian Metro. Sah laku Harian Metro. Atau minta tolong Along tampal kat tiang-tiang lampu macam yg biasa dia org buat untuk yg berhutang. Tampal sekali gambar jantan bodoh, bangang, bahlol, sial, celaka laknatullah tu. Insyallah lepas tu kurang sikit kejadian macam ni atau pupus terus. Then again, mungkin tak... Selagi ada jantan bahlol tak guna otak tapi ikut nafsu budak botak.... Memalukan kaum saja.

yg satu bini lebih dari cukup. Kebahagiaan kami cipta sendiri. Semoga kekal hingga ke akhir hayat.