Saturday, February 14, 2009

A Bloomless Life

I don't remember when was the last time I received flowers from anybody. I can recall getting a bouquet or two from grateful suppliers when I was running my PR consultancy way back in the 1990s, but as you very well know, this doesn't count for nuts.

If at all I can say with absolute certainty, it would be the day I delivered Nawwar in 1985, and this youngest child of mine turns 24 come December, making it almost a quarter of a century since a bouquet of flowers landed on my doorstep.

In that interim period of single-momhood, from 1987 to 2001, flowers and bouquets hardly figured in my life. There was no adoring beau to begin with, who would put me on a pedestal, and cater to my whims and fancies.

Life was difficult enough as it were; the kids weren't in a position to buy me blooms to mark any occasion. Flowers were frivolous, pricey, and they didn't last.

Truthfully though, there were times during those lean years when I was overwhelmed with this innate need to feel loved and wanted. An inner battle would then rage; "Shall I or shall I not send myself a bouquet?"

It was so pathetic, I know. Such episodes, thankfully, didn't last long, for sanity always returned in time to reign. Flowers were an indulgence I could ill-afford.

Therein lies my problem; lamentable experiences as such had inevitably coloured me into practicality, so much so that each time I felt the need to splurge on flowers, my mind would start doing the grocery list. Oh how I detest this mental tug-of-war!

As fate would have it, I married a man who just doesn't 'do' flowers; which is just as well, really, because the mind is already attuned to this no-bouquet existence. Today, I buy flowers only for Hari Raya.

For your sake, thank heavens there aren't many men like Pak Abu out there who shun flowers like the plague, for if there are, florists will surely be a near-extinct breed by now, shrivelling and wilting just like their charges, waiting for time to fade into oblivion.

On that note, I wish all my readers Happy Valentine's Day.


mamasita said...

Hai Hajjah!
Don't feel bad..Pak Abu has got a friend here too. He just doesn't believe in all these far as I know lah!hahaha

You too! Hope theres an extra romantic whatever to mark the occasion!

Bijou Beads Bouquet said...

I believe Leos (especially Leos that born in the year of a dragon) not really into this flower thing ma.. they are more into numbers, if the leaves and the petals are the shape of numbers, they may consider.. I believe so.

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Mamasita - Oh, I'm ok. Pak Abu is generous in so many other ways, much more berbaloi than bouquets, so I am not complaining.. :)

Bijou - You are spot on.. hehehe

kay_leeda said...

Kak Puteri. blooms for you today? need to be sedey-sedey, there's none coming my way either.

Just yesterday, I saw a bouquet going at a whopping RM200!!!
So I don't blame yr Pak Abu and my ABE shying away from the florists. Meh bagi kita the RM200 lagi baguih :)

Happy Valentines to you Kak :)

Pak Idrus said...

I used to send bouquet of roses to my spouse on her birthday and she did the same on mine. When I was working I always have a single rose in a crystal vase everyday on my table. It create that aura of life and beauty that comes with roses.

Even now we pampered ourselves with orchids and other flowers. Like they say flowers are the keeper of our joy. True!!

Have a nice day.

Cik_kembang said...

Salam Ma..

Luckily I have lots of flowers in my garden, so that whenever I crave for flowers I can always pick my own flowers and pretending someone has given me that flowers..hehehe

U take care ma & Happy Valentines Day


ray said...

Komen Pak Malim kucing ray yg alim.

Takpa la kalau takde bunga, asal dia ada di sisi di waktu susah dan senang, kata Pak Malim sambil bermain benang. p.s Kama kata Pak Abu generous in many other ways, kan, kata Pak Malim sambil menggoreng ikan. Boleh tak minta belikan makanan dan sedikit minuman utk saya, kata Pak Malim sambil menyapu kaya. Ok la, ok la, sayalah kucing yg tak malu, kata Pak Malim sambil menghulurkan tangannya yg berbulu. (Minta makan, kata Pak Malim sambil menuju ke pekan)

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Hajjah,

Valentine's Day ni no big deal la..but I understand the kinda urge u had when u felt that u really had to treat urself some flowers..i used to do that. But on the card I wrote "You are beautiful, so treat urself well..from The Man Upstairs"..saja motivate diri jadik baik sikit..

Bukan nak boast, but I have received roses from many adoring beau, but lama-lama i got fed up, as I wondered of their motives. Depa ingat boleh get close to me dgn bagi bunga je ke? So I decided that they should have tried harder.

My hubby does not believe in flower power too. For him, bagi makan lagi bagus, perut kenyang hati senang..hahha

Hari tu (long time ago) adala dia kasi roses, dah tu I pulak yang dok fikir, he must have done something wrong. So for me, tak payah lah flowers..

Kak Teh said...

Puteri, I think they can start a club of their own - non believers of roses kind. I can register one from here. But never mind, like Pak Abu mine is generous in other ways - such as, you nak teh? You nak sandwich? You dah makan vitamins? Cukuplah tu, kan?

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Kay - Tarak sedey2, we prefer to go makan..

Pak Idrus - You are such a romantic soul. She's a lucky woman, indeed.

CK - Bagusla, at least you hv a garden of your own.

Ray - pak abu memang baik hati
kata kama sambil makan roti
kenapa sapu kaya sambil goreng ikan?
Ape kebender Pak Malim nak makan?

Ida - Itu dinamakan ada udang sebali batu, kasi bunga nak mintak 'balasan' ..LOL

Kak Teh - AG and Pak Abu ni mengaji di sekolah yg sama kot..

bangkai said...


If its any consolation, I'm one of those men who do not 'do' flowers as well. But this is simply because I have found that personally cooking the lady a nice dinner to be infinitely more effective. Cooking involves a little more work, but the pay-off is usually much better, too ;-)

Naz said...

Give me a good book instead..hihi!
Kalau tak bagi pun, I beli sendiri. No big deal!
Every day is Valentine kan?!!

Zendra said...

Ahhh Valentines. I used to get valentine's day messages in the Malay Mail, and that's telling my age. Fresh roses? Nope.Not even once. Only the virtual ones they send through email-lah.

Anyway I'm just another one of your fans and I absolutely am fascinated by your writings.


Aida said...

Kak Puteri,

My dad was one of those who loved giving flowers but as life should have it, my mum would prefer longer lasting things than flowers.... so my dad will only celebrate very very special occassions with a gift and some flowers. And so I grew up like my mum, "No roses thanks, I rather have the dosh" ehhehehe bukan material but like u said, it can go to better things like groceries and essential for the kids. Cos definitely flowers will not be the only thing in the offering ehhehehe

I guess we are just very practical ppl.

However, I expected roses weekly when I was dating this guy in uni (we was doing is 2nd masters degree) and drove a Z4 bemmer. Cos he can very well afford it kan. SO why not hehehehe

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Mat B - You can, and do, cook?? I am always impressed by husbands/Bfs who can cook. I am sorry to admit I am too old-school that I forbid Pak Abu from the kitchen and that he gets his morning coffee by his bedside table... hehehe..

Naz - Oh yes, a book is a welcome gift, anytime..

Zendra - We had those ads when I was still writing for the MM in the 70s and 80s. I had always enjoyed going through them. Some were very poetic.

Aida - Anyone who drives a Beemer is required by law to spoil his Gf with roses, scents, maybe a sparkler or two. Make hay while the sun still shines, that's what I say.. hehehe..

Pokku said...

Valentines Day is a commercial enterprise. Love can be shown 365 days of the year kan?

─╣aptop™ said...

I never knew it was called a beemer.
I always call it break-my-wallet.

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Pok Ku - Absolutely. Flowers or no flowers, for as long we are loved, living is well worth it..:)

Laptop - 'em Beemer owners don't understand the meaning of 'break-my-wallet'. Their wallets never break..hehehe