Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Amusing Hajj Interlude

I was queueing up to use the toilet in Mina early one morning, still bleary-eyed with sleep; a matronly woman probably in her late 50s or early 60s standing in front of me.

She was clad in a worn T-shirt and batik sarong, with a 'kain lepas' (traditional east coast shawl) covering her hair. Out of the blue, she turned around and started asking me some questions.

No, make that an interrogation; she probed me relentlessly, speaking in that unmistakable logha' Klate (Kelantanese dialect). I had this sneaky feeling that she badly wanted to tell someone - anyone - something.

There were at least 10 other women there at the time, all 'pasang telinga' (listening intently), probably thanking their lucky stars they weren't the ones kena soal-siasat (cross-examined) so meticulously.

She: Mari 'mmano? [Where from?]
Me: Kuala Lumpur. Kak? [Kuala Lumpur. How about you, sis?]

She: Ttani [Pattani]. Anok brapo? [How many kids?]
Me: Tujuh [Didn't care to elaborate on the equation of four own and three stepkids]

She: Rama teh! [ That's a lot!]
Me: (Silently: Eh, banyak songel 'lak dia pagi-pagi buta ni!)
(Loudly): Ha'ah, saya anak ramai [Yeah, I have a few]

She: Lepah semo doh ko? [All done with schooling?]
Me: Ha'ah. Semua dah kerja [Yes, they are all working]

She: Molek la tu. Adik krijo ko? [Cool. Do you work?]
Me: (Silently: Ya Rabbi, kaypohnyer! Malaih eh nak explain pasal my work lak..)
(Loudly): Tak, saya duduk rumah aja [Naah, I'm a stay-at-home wife and mum]

She: Anok sayo blaja di Mesir. Hok 'ttino sulong [My eldest girl is studying in Egypt]
Me: Bagus tu [Good to hear that]
(Silently: Aduss, volunteer info pasal anak pulak. Saya desperately mau konciang kak oii)!

She: Dio nok abih doh. Blaja jadi doktor [She's studying medicine, almost finished]
Me: Alhamdulillah.

Silence prevailed.
Since no further response from me, she changed tack.
By then, I was already crossing and recrossing my legs...

She: Mari nge sapo? [Who are you here with?]
Me: Suami saya [My husband]

She: Kito takdok tok 'llaki doh. [I no longer have a husband]
Me: (looked at her blankly, perhaps pityingly too).. Oooh...

[What was I supposed to say? Takziah? Maybe he wasn't dead yet?] I was thinking hard for something appropriate to say, but the moment I parted my lips, she pounced on me:

She: Tu gigi beto ko tu? [Is that your original set of teeth?]
Me: (Silently: Isyy dia ni.. biar betul!)
(Loudly): Ya, gigi betul [ Yes, the real thing]

She: Molek teh. Hok sayo palsu semo doh [Nice. Mine's all false!]
She then grinned to show her row of chompers.

I wanted to laugh so much I almost 'terkincit' (leaked) there and then. Adooii...! Thank God, the cubicle door opened and she went in...

14 comments:

Pp said...

Putri Kama....:-) please excuse me for wanting so much to laugh at this one!!!Hahahaha.
Paling dok tahae, bab dio tanyo 'gigi' tu lah. hehehe

Adoiilaa....teringat masa dok beratur di Minaa dolu2....masuk jer tak sempat nak selak pintu terus jer!! Pheeewwwww, still....one of the best feeling!!

pP

Kak Teh said...

Puteri, I was waiting for her to offer and rest the authenticity of gigi, just in case she doubted you. Luckily she took your word for it. This is so hilarious...I knew there was a punch somewhere!

Pi Bani said...

Hahaha! Jenis-jenis terlebih peramah ni memang selalu jumpa lah. Dia tak perasan ke you dok terkepit-kepit kaki you menahan nak kencing? Muahaha!

kay_leeda said...

Kak Puteri,

Laa...sempat dia perhati your teeth tu!! Mesti dia nampak dari jauh gigi bersinar-sinar putih nya :) LOL.

Mior Azhar said...

Kak Puteri,
pagi2 dah sembang pasai gigi... but that was a real OMG moment!

Aida said...

Kak Puteri,

She was doing it to pass the time and also to keep her mind of the call of nature jugak tue... how else lah nak keep ur mind off it while waiting then to stike up a conversation ehhehehe....

I foresee that being me... I mean, I am THAT type hehehe BUT I still have my own teeth and my husband.

Thanks for the laugh.

Desert Rose said...

Hik Hik, kak Puteri,

Ur tete-a-tete moment with a kepochi nasib baik bleh tahan lagi kan...kalau i dah kat ujung tanduk camgitu, ada plak org nak bermesra alam, tak tau la ..

I teringat I saw this makcik kat Madinah, going to d mosque dgn penuh vogue pakai kaftan batik kaler oren, (senteng plak tu, tapi pakai sarung aurat kat tgn and track bottom kat dalam). Dia selamba dgn penuh yakin diri, bedak sejuk pun penuh kat muka.(maaf la kalau ada anak cucu dia baca) My hubby looked at me and buat komen yg menyakitkan hati tapi menginsafkan...dia kata tgk makcik tu, nak datang buat amal ibadat tak kisah pun pakai macam nak masuk tido, yg u tu, jubah kena matching ngan setokin la, telekung pun kaler2...apatah" (dah i percaya kalau pi tempat lain kita kena cantik2, pi rumah Allah kena la extra cantik kan, asalkan jgn riak dan berubah niat dah la,what say u kak Puteri?)

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Pp - Hehehe, I wonder how she could veer so off-topic from small talk to my gigi..

Kak Teh - My fear, exactly. Takut2 kalau2 dia bukak gigi palsu just to prove her point..

Pi - I don't think she noticed kawan dok terkepit2 depan dia.. leka nak tanya pasai gigi kot.. :)

Kay, Mior - I yg mula2 annoyed sikit with all the Qs - maklumlah 3am - terus jadi amused.. balik tent boleh jadi bahan ketawa lagi..

Aida - put that way, mungkin ada kebenarannya. maybe she was also trying to take her mind off 'business'.. malumlah kena beratur..

Rose - hampir nak terburai jugaklah kak Puteri pun. btw, I agree kalau nak pi masjid tu dress up la sikit.. pi grocery shopping pun melaram takkan nak sembah Tuhan selekeh kan..

~PakKaramu~ said...

Salam ziarah

Bustaman said...

Cobaaaan!
Nice anecdote!

CN said...

Akak,
After reading your blog, I really feel like going to perform my hajj.. SOON !! InsyaAllah..

mamasita said...

hahahahahaha
Sorry Hajjah I lambat baca posting you ni..nak tanya sikit? Wasn't it a double dose of nak terkonciang?
The free comical scene can buat anybody ketawa sampai nak terkonciang!

Latah this lady pun was a test on your patience emotionally and physically in Mina! Mujurlah you tahu jugak how to do the criss-cross act! hahaha

MrsNordin said...

Hee... hee.... I think that was the thing that she desperately wanted to ask you: your teeth! Ada ke? Sabar je lah...

Kama At-Tarawis said...

Pak Karamu, Waalaikumussalam Pak, terima kasih kerana singgah ke blog saya. Blog Pak Karamu menarik, boleh pi selalu..:)

Pok Ku - It takes all kinds to make up the world, eh..

CN - cikgu, that's nice to hear. pi la, you won't regret a single second..

Mamasita - bukan senang nak tahan konciang, weh..LOL

Mrs N - entah2 teeth fetish tak? suka intai2 gigi orang..hehehe