Saturday, December 19, 2009

Let's Tambah Bini

Newspapers recently reported a well-known tuan guru calling for people of religious standing (he specifically mentioned ulamak) to embrace polygamy with even more zeal by taking additional wives, especially single moms.

Somehow, he seems to be inordinately concerned with the increasing number of janda (divorcees), ibu tunggal (single mothers) and andalusia (old maids) in our midst, for he lamented about the latter days after airing his rather skewed thoughts about the former.

His solution? Ulamaks should help stem the tide by increasing their bini (spouse) quota. Why ulamak? Because he reckoned only they can help provide spiritual guidance to these 'unfortunate' women, to prevent them from falling by the wayside.

How insulting to the jandas and their ilk. What good will that bring if the only change an abandoned family ever experiences is spiritual overdose preached by someone else's husband whose alternate reason for his presence in the household is to fulfill the mother's sexual need?

These women don't need a husband if all he can offer is himself. I can bet my bottom dollar they have no problem coping with the absence of a sexual relationship. They have a well-functioning cold-storage system, Mr Ulamak, and they hold the switch, thank you.

They can darn well keep the lid on their sexual needs without having to sell themselves short, Mr Ulamak. They are more concerned about getting those kids decently fed, clothed, sheltered and schooled than getting a poke, Sir.

The absence of a prick (the appendage) is hardly an issue; the absence of the prick who fathered those kids, who eventually left them to fend for themselves, is.

I have a better idea, Mr Ulamak. Maybe you should look into WHY these women became single moms in the first place. Let me steer you in the right direction; spousal abandonment is the operative term here, Sir.

Maybe you should TEACH these men to be more responsible towards their family, that it doesn't do to walk out on one's wife and kids to disappear into thin air when times are hard, OR when a new model comes along offering what seems like an exciting ride.

Stop worrying about these single mothers, Mr Ulamak. They are made of sterner stuff. They are like the phoenix, they have the ability to rise from the ashes. They don't admit defeat, they love their children unreservedly and would sacrifice their all for them.

Don't lose sleep over them Mr Ulamak, for they have balls, although I can't say the same for some of your kind, especially the ones who err with impunity...

PS: Congratulations to 'Bung' for taking a starlet off the marriage market. May her star brighten, her pocket deepen, her life sweeten; and may they find happiness. My sympathy, however, lies with the one grieving in Kinabatangan..

18 comments: said...

tambah bini selepas itu buang bini itu dengan anak-anak sekali

mamasita said...

I love your entries as always!
Straight to the point, taking the bull by the horn!

You said it sis! Sock it into their faces!
Always leaning on religious reasoning when it suits their selera..lain2 tak mampu nak ikut! Bikin malu je..

Yeah..congrats Bung!
Congrats to the both bloody
shit-heads bini baru and mak mertua orang kaya baru jugak..must brag and loudspeaker kat suratkabar kan?

Anonymous said...

Itu bukan Ulamak sohih, itu Ularmak pokemon, mereka ni sebenarnya dajjal bertopengkan manusia, Ugama mereka nafsu serakah, tanggungjwap membesarkan anak2 dan membahagia isteri dan keluarga tidak ada dalam otak mereka, yg ada hanya satu, nafsu serakha membuas macam binatang. Seorang manusia yg berkopiah kalau dah gian dan bnafsu lebih hodoh dan membuas kalah anjing atau kucing. Ingatlah kita kena bezakan Ulama yg sohih dgn Ularmak yg pokemon. Yg Sohih susah nak dicari, kerana mereka tidak mempertonjolkan diri mereka, yg banyak macam cendawan tumboh adalah Ularmak pokemon, otak hanya pikir tentang nafsu membabi, itu saja.

MA said...

Well said, Kak Puteri!

Sometime I wonder, really really wonder why la these so called ulamak ka, orang politik ka - tak berapa bijak bila berkata-kata. Who put them all up there on a "pedestal".

Apa susah sangat nak fikirkan benda-benda yang no brainer?

Another issue is when these people beria nak bring certain wrongdoers to jail/whipping...for khalwat, drinking etc. True, apa diorang buat itu memang salah and deserved to be hauled up - all they are hurting is only themselves.

Why not hunt for the errant fathers who jumped bail on child support (contoh : AC Mizal); or the errant husband who refused to divorce their wives yang terang-terang telah dianiayai bertahun-tahun?

Priorities are all screwed up.

IMHO - the undang-undang memang adil, it is the enforcement and interpretation yang selalu disalahgunakan.

True - single moms needed no prick to go on with their lives. Kalau setakat half-brained dickheads tu, tak payah lah - kirim salam banyak-banyak! We are too dignified to be associated with such @ssholes!

anak si-hamid said...

Good for you for getting to the point (the pun) and going for the jugular. These are hypocrites tamak (not oo-lamak) for satisfying their lust and dressing it up in religious platitudes.
Such 'abandoned' women need a man like a fish needs a bicycle!!

Mat Cendana said...

I have jumped onto the bandwagon too due to this `fact' that Nik Aziz is trying to pass off with a straight face: that anyone certified as an ulamak is a "Grade Superscale A-Plus God-fearing, heart of gold person".

This isn't true, of course; although there are many people who willingly elevate them to a lofty status where they must not be questioned, ever. And they'd quote that line of "Ulamak adalah Pewaris Nabi" - interpreting this as "the ulamaks INHERIT"... as if the Prophet's qualities are passed down just like that; as in money and property. Whereas - or as I believe anyway - it's the requirement to strive for the Prophet's standards if one claims to be an ulamak.

Anyway, the `winners of the month' are Bung Mukhtar and Zizie. What's the problem - it's sama-sama suka? Oh, I forgot about "someone" in the picture here, who unfortunately has to smile and look forward to her special place in Heaven. Kahwin Ulamak is Good for You!

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Hi Puteri,

Does the man need the blessing & permission from the 1st wife before he can marry a 2nd wife?



P/S - Bung memang lucky-laki :)
He's a real character! Real life Mr 'Smiley'...hehehe

Anonymous said...

Got married yet denied. Where are the balls?

I also keep my ballslah and put under annon

Pi Bani said...

Itulah dia... orang sibuk-sibuk pasal H1N1, tengok-tengok virus
B1N1 pulak yang merebak.

Anonymous said...

Kak, Bagus buat bisnes ni. Kita kumpul satu group ustaz-ustaz miang dan terdesak ni. Kita buka eskot servis. Dia orang ni kalau kahwin cerai beribu kali satu hari pun tak pa sebab depa tak ada edah. Kita juallah servis depa. Contoh target customer : pertama: sesiapa yg nak balik kg dan nak tutup mulut-mulut puaka yg asyik tanya pasal bila nak kahwin, kedua : sesiapa yg short cash. 30% kita punya, 50% (Rm 500)customer, 20% gigolo halal ni punya. Kita punya banyak sikit ler dari gigolos ni sebab ada processing fees. Boleh shopping. Duit facial lepas lah. Ketiga : jadi toy boy angkut barang, jadi drebar dan keluar kos untuk kita gi shopping musin YES ni. Keempat: jadikan gigolos ni mangsa dera sepak-terajang. Teringin gak nak sepak-terajang jantan-jantan dayus ni (Kinky/sadis lak). Dan macam-macam lagilah. Ramai-ramai boleh bagi idea. Apa lagi, subsidi pun dah ada. Kayo Kak, kayo kito. Ha, ha, ha.... (kena gelak ala-ala Along/Ceti masa hari gaji)


Kak Teh said...

Puteri, this is kama in her elements! well said! and tahniah to Bung too. I love it when they say things like they have to 'jaga hati orang lain'

لف توف™ said...

Bunyi lagu "Tambah nasi lagi Bang Aji!"

Typhoon Sue said...

straying a bit off-tangent here...

i hate to say this to u, but in less than a breath, u managed to undo the subtlety and exquisiteness of the word 'andalusia' as originally intended (by Pi Bani, I think). The term 'old maid' should exist only in that old card game we all used to play (but even so, the fanatic would demand that the card game be banned as well..)

Kama At-Tarawis said...

sue - my apologies; it wasn't intentional. rest assured both terms won't see daylights again in this blog.

Anonymous said...

Apa hikmahnya Sang Pencipta membenarkan poligami ?
Kalau banyak mendatangkan masalah pada mata kita.

bRAVEhEART said...

Hmmmmm! I'm still, thinkin'......

Quran said...

Good for you for getting to the point (the pun) and going for the jugular. These are hypocrites tamak (not oo-lamak) for satisfying their lust and dressing it up in religious platitudes.

Unknown said...

Hahahaha. Still a good read 7 years after it's written.