All my life I had never read a single copy of celebrity magazine Hello!, let alone buy one. This in itself is ironic, considering I spent the last five years of my journalistic career covering the entertainment beat for an English daily.
To be fair, Hello! wasn't the only one I kept at arm's length. Apart from a few local staple which I had to peruse in the line of duty, the rest were consigned to my 'Not Interested' bin.
The world of artistes and entertainers, all those glitz and glamour (not to mention the constant bitchings), had never been my cup of tea. In fact, as I write this, I can still feel the retractable claws of some whose path I had crossed (intentionally or otherwise).
People well acquainted with me over the years would know that I have an intense dislike for attention. That I had to deal with people who lived and breathed adulation and the spotlight was a nightmare unto itself.
Which was why I surprised myself today when I picked up a copy of the latest Hello! from a newsstand on my way out of Tesco this morning, after my weekly shopping for provisions.
Truth be told, it was the cover that did it - a lovely picture of the world's most famous newlyweds, Prince Williams and Kate Middleton, now Duchess of Cambridge, and a blurb that says "Collectors' Item" (or something to that effect, I can't recall exactly).
I'm a shoo-in for anything remotely resembling collectibles. In fact, the house is chock-a-block with junk masquerading as collectors' items (and I'm not in a hurry to spring-clean just yet).
Be that as it may, I gladly parted with RM8.90 for a copy of the latest Hello! special edition, flipping the RM1.10 change into a nearby receptacle in aid of a charity.
It was when I was unloading my bags of provisions from the car that I realised the magazine was nowhere to be found. Now, where the heck could it be? RM8.90 is a lot of money!
As I sat there in the driver's seat pondering over the missing rag, it dawned on me that I had inadvertently left it in the Tesco trolley whilst transferring the contents to my car.
Since I had no desire to return to Tesco parking lot and try my luck at retrieving it, it's Goodbye! to Hello!
Now, if you happen to be the lucky person who found my first (and definitely last) Hello! (still pristine and virginal, cello-wrapped and all), have fun reading at my expense, literally..